When I learned that my graduation ceremony was no longer happening I knew I had to do something in order to celebrate my accomplishments. I decided to order a cap and gown on amazon and take a ton of pictures in order to cope with the loss. In those moments of decorating my cap, throwing my hat in the air, and flashing a smile I still was sad. I couldn't help thinking about what could have been.
When I turned in my last college assignment it was immensely bittersweet. I sat in front of my computer, telling the rest of my group that "it's okay I'll turn it in" because I wanted to have that moment. A moment of semi-normalness that I didn't have the last few months of school. I wanted that opportunity to feel like I actually finished. So, I turned on my camera and I hit the record button. I took a deep breath and clicked the submit button. I had officially submitted my final college assignment (it was a 20 page paper btw haha). It looked small, but it felt oh so big. I screamed to my parents that "I was done" and they yelled back a "congratulations!" Then I went to grab my cap and moved my tassel from right to left. I had officially graduated. Although the moment was amazing, it still didn't feel like I did it right. I was now in limbo. Over the next few days my siblings and family gave me flowers and gifts that made me feel like "oh, maybe I actually did finish" and those things made me smile. However, it wasn't until June 13, 2020 that I felt like an actual graduate. I knew months ago that I wanted to do a makeshift commencement ceremony at our house. I wanted my family there, I wanted to dress up, and damn it I wanted to walk a stage. So, that is what we did:
My grandparents had decided to visit that morning and see the family because corona kept us from each other for way to long. So about a week before, we decided to also do a graduation ceremony while they were down. We didn't even tell them until they got here because we thought I'd be a fun surprise(it was). But we decided to make a brunch type of meal and have cake too. I didn't expect a whole lot because we were limited, but it was pretty special for me.
I am not one for attention. Sometimes I feel as though I don't deserve the attention and I shy away, which is semi ironic because I am not very quiet. This day was no exception, I still felt weird when everyone was looking at me, but it was a good weird. We were finally celebrating the fact I graduated college. A dream that seemed at times that I would never reach. I walked on my back porch waving and smiling awkwardly, as one does. I shook my grandmas hand as she hands me a degree my sister made that was placed perfectly in a picture frame. I smiled towards the camera and laughed because the ceremony was all too fitting for my family. It was us in a nutshell.
Then came speeches, my mom was prepared and had a whole thing written out. It was fabulous. Then grandma and grandpa who shed some wisdom and love. My sister, who roasted me, but then made me smile so wide. My dad, who started tearing up and all he could get out was that "I'm great" (he isn't wrong tho). Then my brother, who isn't a speaker, still showed me love. Lastly, my brother in law who reminded me that I set my mind to something and I did it. Then came time for me to say something. I was not as prepared as my mom, so my speech that day kind of seemed all over the place so this is my redo:
My last 4 years have been anything but normal. Although, I did have some normal college experiences like living with roommates, drinking till I regretted it, and skipping classes, my life has never been normal. I have continuously struggled through challenges and obstacles. I have laughed until I cried and cried until my eyes were dried out. Life is never flat, it has curves, both up and down. Sometimes throughout these 4 years I would be down and wasn't sure when I would reach the top again. Some days seemed like I would never complete the OU dynasty that my family had laid out for me or that I felt was my destiny. It was hard, moving away and then moving back home. Then moving back out again when I felt even more scared. I have always struggled with anxiety. It is something I still struggle with and being in college taught me so much about myself and how to cope with those things. You get to be surrounded by so many people and professors who give you new perspectives on life and living and it is such a sight to see. I have always been an observer and I've been so lucky to have been able to observe, study, and feel home at Ohio University. Although, there were some days I wasn't sure when I would reach the top of the curve, OU, my professors, and my family and friends would always make sure I'd get there. Whether I was struggling with school, anxiety, or just being home sick I had people to help me climb those mountains and enjoy the happiness. I wouldn't have gotten through college without them. My professors for actively teaching me with passion and communicating with care. My mom for peer editing almost every single paper I've written in the last 4 years. My dad who would facetime me almost everyday to just check in and make me laugh. My sister who not only taught 100+ students everyday, but took the time to teach me as well. My brother for helping me with technology when I felt stupid. My brother in law for being there to motivate me creatively. My grandparents for writing me letters and sending me funny pictures and comic strips just to brighten my day. My friends who knew my struggles and stood by me anyway. Without all of you my college experience would not have been as great as it was. Without you guys I would not have been able to sit in front of you and say "I did it," so, thank you. Thank you for always encouraging me to continue even when I felt stuck at the bottom of the hill. Thank you for being there with me for when I reached the top. The view is great and I am so glad you are all here to see it with me.
Thank you.
Sincerely Bobcat alumni 2020
I hope this time, when I had time to think about what I would say, I said it gracefully. I really wanted to express how grateful I am to have had the ability to go to college and graduate in 4 years with a degree I am super proud of (my degree has shipped too, so I will finally have it in person!!). I am so excited for the future and what is to come. Next goal, find a job I love, and work passionately at it. Thank you to everyone, I love you. Cheers to being a bobcat for life and to find my next great adventure!!!!!
