I had cancer this past year and as an end of the year celebration I want to tell my story fully, almost documentary style. I really want to tell what happened to me and ask my family and friends to tell their perspectives. I want people to know that they aren't alone and that you should never give up.
I really want people to hear my voice. I am very passionate about film, I love it very much and that is one of the main reasons I want to do it. I want this video to be almost like an interview with friends and family who are willing to speak to this issue and that went through it with me and who faced the experience first hand.
I know it may bring up bad times but this video isn't to reminisce it is to share the tribulations we all had to endure to inspire anyone who may stumble upon it. I want it to be spread by everyone and it is my goal to do this by my one year anniversary of my diagnosis, January 28th because everything will have come full circle by then.
It is important to me that people hear my story and understand that everything will be okay in the end and if it is not okay, then it is not the end.
If you are willing to be in this video and answer questions and just talk openly in front of a camera please let me know. I already have some people in mind I want in it and I am hoping you are willing to help me spread this message.
Thank you and I love you all xoxo,
Sunday, November 20, 2016
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
Book Nook + Cool Experience
Hello y'all today's blog is not going to be a regular book review. This time I met the author and that experience will be told in this post! Get pumped my little page turners!! Today's book is "It Gets Worse" by comedian, youtuber, all around hilarious human Shane Dawson. Yes I met him.
First of all the book is amazing. It's funny and cute and makes you feel good about yourself, which I think Shane was going for. If you have never heard of Shane you must live around a giant rock because he is a BIG deal. He has been a youtube for over 5 years (not sure exact number) and he has written 2 books, this one being his second. "It Gets Worse" is a series of essays about his life and funny or tragic real life stories he has gone through. Honestly, his life has been rough but also not gonna lie some hilarious, whacky stuff has happened to him! It made a great sequel though.
Overall, the book was amazing It definitely deserved the New York Bestsellers title If i do say so myself. Now before I tell you some of my favorite quotes from the book, I will tell you about my Meet and Great experience with Shane:
I met Shane on July 25 of this year with my friend Rachel. Her and I are big fans of him and so we bought tickets and drove 2 hours to Cincinnati Ohio to see him for about 5 seconds. We pulled up to the bookstore at around 3 o clock and the meet and great didn't start till 7. So we found our spot by the outlet and awaited our king to arrive. Between the hours of 3 and 7 we did things such as, complain, snooze, read, painting our nails, and contemplating on buying everything around us. Anyways, once the wait was over we were in group L. We got in line around 7:45 and the line ZOOMED by. Rachel made me go first because she hates me. So when I got up there heres what happend per by memory:
Shane: Hi!
*me stands like an idiot* me: are you real??
Shane: *laughs*
Me: Hi i love you! *while hugging each other
Me: Hi i love you! *while hugging each other
Shane: love you too!
Me: lets take a cool pic!
Shane: what should we do?
Me: you pick!
Shane: oh no girl Im out!!
Shane: oh no girl Im out!!
Me *laughs and turns and just makes a move and he follows*
Shane: thanks!
Me: thanks!
And that's my 10 second conversation with youtube sensation Shane Dawson. It was absolutely amazing and even though it was about 10 seconds it was the best 10 mississipis of my life. After that we left and searched for our pictures and held our precious signed books in our hands. We eventually went home and slept but meeting him was a solid time. Would totally do it over :) By the way I forgot I ate a jolly rancher earlier so you can see my blue tongue in the picture, greaaat.
Also here is a link to the vlog I made while it happened: CLICK HERE
Favorite Quotes: "So yes, it gets worse, but you know what gets better? Your tolerance for bullshit."
"It's funny how fast money can change you, even when it's invisible."
"Because that's what love is: no judgement."
Sunday, November 13, 2016
Book Nook
Hey book nerds! I am finally back with an upbeat post about novels and more fun things! Today's book is "My Life Next Door" by Huntley Fitzpatrick. It was one of those cheesy romance books, but those are my favorite kind.
This one was about a girl named Samantha who has a neat freak, crazy, politician for a mother. She also lives next door to the Garrets. A large family with messy yards and craziness happening 24/7. Then one day Jase Garret decides to climb up Sam's trellis in her room and the rest is history. It is a very cute story between the two and literally one for the books. It is also very cliche how it is the boy next door but honestly I wish I had that in my neighborhood.
I recommend if you like cute, cheesy romances like me. It is a really sweet story with a twist at the end ;)
FAVORITE CHARACTER: 1000% Jase because I love him and the way he acts is what I would personally want in someone I dated. He is sweet, caring, appreciative, and perfect. He takes care of Sam and that's what matters most.
Favorite Quotes: "This is my favorite technique too, silence so loud someone has to start talking to fill it."
"Who are these people, and why do they think their own opinions are the only right ones?"
"So what if Tim can't handle it? What if he just messes up?
We all deserve a chance not to, right?"
"The wrong people can lead you to make the wrong decisions."
"Tim, you've got to get over this 'everything's easy for everyone else' stuff. It's not true and it makes you boring."
"It doesn't go away because it's not your problem."
"She said we were rich in all the things that matter. I need to remember she's right."
"....and pretending everything's okay when it's not and just junk."
"The truth was just..... inconvenient."
This one was about a girl named Samantha who has a neat freak, crazy, politician for a mother. She also lives next door to the Garrets. A large family with messy yards and craziness happening 24/7. Then one day Jase Garret decides to climb up Sam's trellis in her room and the rest is history. It is a very cute story between the two and literally one for the books. It is also very cliche how it is the boy next door but honestly I wish I had that in my neighborhood.
I recommend if you like cute, cheesy romances like me. It is a really sweet story with a twist at the end ;)
FAVORITE CHARACTER: 1000% Jase because I love him and the way he acts is what I would personally want in someone I dated. He is sweet, caring, appreciative, and perfect. He takes care of Sam and that's what matters most.
Favorite Quotes: "This is my favorite technique too, silence so loud someone has to start talking to fill it."
"Who are these people, and why do they think their own opinions are the only right ones?"
"So what if Tim can't handle it? What if he just messes up?
We all deserve a chance not to, right?"
"The wrong people can lead you to make the wrong decisions."
"Tim, you've got to get over this 'everything's easy for everyone else' stuff. It's not true and it makes you boring."
"It doesn't go away because it's not your problem."
"She said we were rich in all the things that matter. I need to remember she's right."
"....and pretending everything's okay when it's not and just junk."
"The truth was just..... inconvenient."
Sunday, November 6, 2016
Anxiety
Anxiety sucks. It is probably one of my least favorite things about myself. I get anxious so easily about the dumbest things and I am not gonna sit and here and say I don't cause that's not true. I want this blog to be all brutal honesty because if you have met me in real life, you know that that is how I am. I am a very brutally honest person whether people like it or not. I have taken medication for anxiety and I know a lot of people do. If you feel like you are someone who might benefit from that reach out to someone and ask for help. I can not stress that enough.
Anyway, for this post I wanted to get personal with you about my experiences and how I handle anxiety. For me I get anxious over small things like, homework, misplaced things, tweaks, being unorganized, and being unprepared and those are just a few examples. With this comes anxiousness and thoughts of failure or uneasiness, My biggest physical effect anxiety has on me is stomach aches. When I am anxious my stomach beings to hurt and I feel like I am gonna throw up. It is not fun and it makes me even more anxious because I really do not want to throw up in that particular situation. Anxiety is not an joke or it'd not something people just say, it is a serious thing that can screw with peoples lives.
Anxiety does have a sidekick which is a super power that toys with your emotions and your motivation. For example, when I become anxious I will lose all motivation to do anything important and my emotions will get the better of me. I will get angry with myself and pissed off. I do not understand why this happens but it is not really something I can control. However, I can lower the anxiety levels. Here's how I deal with anxiety:
I did a lot of these exercises when I was in the hospital because I would get such bad anxiety I would start to have panic attacks. So a lot of the times I would have my sister help me breathe in and out. This is EXTREMELY important because with a panic attack you aren't breathing normally. So she would help me with that. The other big thing I would do would be mindfulness which is to attack the problem head on and realize what is happening and just understand it and breathe. It was either with breathing or a written exercise given by my psychologist. Either way it worked most of the time. Now that I am at school and by myself it is a lot harder to use these exercises so I have come up with some on my own time. These include; reading, painting, comedy tv/movie/special, and basically anything to distract me from the anxious situation. I have found out that the more I just sit there and think about the thing that is making me anxious makes the problem worse. So I have learned to take me away from the situation for awhile and do something fun or that I enjoy and come back to the problem when I am ready.
If you have anxiety don't be embarrassed, it is a common thing and just because yours might be worse than somebody else's does not mean anything! You will be okay and get through it. Also nothing is as big as it seems! Just remember to find the ways that help you handle your anxiety and do them! Even if that thing is due in 2 hours, step away and a bad grade will not effect you in the long run. The most important thing is not grades, it is your health and that should always come first. So just breathe and believe you can do it and you will.
xoxo Haley :)
Anyway, for this post I wanted to get personal with you about my experiences and how I handle anxiety. For me I get anxious over small things like, homework, misplaced things, tweaks, being unorganized, and being unprepared and those are just a few examples. With this comes anxiousness and thoughts of failure or uneasiness, My biggest physical effect anxiety has on me is stomach aches. When I am anxious my stomach beings to hurt and I feel like I am gonna throw up. It is not fun and it makes me even more anxious because I really do not want to throw up in that particular situation. Anxiety is not an joke or it'd not something people just say, it is a serious thing that can screw with peoples lives.
Anxiety does have a sidekick which is a super power that toys with your emotions and your motivation. For example, when I become anxious I will lose all motivation to do anything important and my emotions will get the better of me. I will get angry with myself and pissed off. I do not understand why this happens but it is not really something I can control. However, I can lower the anxiety levels. Here's how I deal with anxiety:
I did a lot of these exercises when I was in the hospital because I would get such bad anxiety I would start to have panic attacks. So a lot of the times I would have my sister help me breathe in and out. This is EXTREMELY important because with a panic attack you aren't breathing normally. So she would help me with that. The other big thing I would do would be mindfulness which is to attack the problem head on and realize what is happening and just understand it and breathe. It was either with breathing or a written exercise given by my psychologist. Either way it worked most of the time. Now that I am at school and by myself it is a lot harder to use these exercises so I have come up with some on my own time. These include; reading, painting, comedy tv/movie/special, and basically anything to distract me from the anxious situation. I have found out that the more I just sit there and think about the thing that is making me anxious makes the problem worse. So I have learned to take me away from the situation for awhile and do something fun or that I enjoy and come back to the problem when I am ready.
If you have anxiety don't be embarrassed, it is a common thing and just because yours might be worse than somebody else's does not mean anything! You will be okay and get through it. Also nothing is as big as it seems! Just remember to find the ways that help you handle your anxiety and do them! Even if that thing is due in 2 hours, step away and a bad grade will not effect you in the long run. The most important thing is not grades, it is your health and that should always come first. So just breathe and believe you can do it and you will.
xoxo Haley :)
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